The Diagnosis

I've been wanting to start a blog about all that is going on for a while now. I was trying to setup a domain and a great-looking site but found I just don't have the time or money right now, so I'm going with free and easy. Reading Mikensi's blog tonight was the push I needed.

I can't say when all of my symptoms started because with Celiac Disease, the symptoms are so varied. I have suffered from depression since the age of 14 and been on three different anti-depressants since that time. I had always done really well in school up until that time and then I just couldn't focus or find motivation. Fast forward to 2010 when I was pregnant with Esper. I will admit that I didn't eat that well during my pregnancy. I also started getting some intense pain and tingling in my right thigh and could barely stand to stand up, let alone exercise. I also developed some intense heartburn. It was so bad one day I went into the hospital and they just laughed at me, indicating that as a first-time pregnant woman, I surely could put up with a little heartburn. After I had Esper I continued to have insane heartburn. I would wake up in the middle of the night moaning in pain, grabbing the sheets as tightly as I could, up on all fours (the only position that helped lessen the pain a tiny bit). My doctor did an ultrasound and saw gall stones. My sister and grandma had to have their gall bladders removed for the same thing. After I got my gall bladder out I assumed that I would start feeling better, but in fact things got worse. As a mom and student, the work required of me each day does not leave room for resting or leaving things to do later. So I went to my primary care doctor who told me to try some Prilosec for a while. It didn't help. The main symptoms I was dealing with on a daily basis were diarrhea, headaches multiple times a day, muscle pain, abdominal pain, nausea, and heartburn. Of course other symptoms (insomnia, brain fog) I'd come to find out later were also part of this, but at the time I thought it was all stomach related so I went and saw a gastroenterologist. It was actually my bf who threw out the notion that maybe it was a wheat problem. I really didn't think that was the issue, but my doctor tested me for Celiac Disease and sure enough, my Anti-Tissue Transglutaminase Antibody test was positive. He scheduled an endoscopy to look at my small intestine and the results were somewhat odd. The biopsy showed no damaged villi, which is a marker of Celiac. There can be errors with the biopsies  but he says I'm the first patient of his that hasn't shown signs of Celiac in both the blood test and the endoscopy. So his diagnosis is Latent Celiac Disease which basically means nothing to me except that that wheat shit ain't good for me, yo.

So... now what? I had already gone to the store and bought all of the yummy gluten-free equivalents to my favorite foods. I read the hell out of the internet. I memorized bad ingredients to recognize on a food label. I obsessed. Part of the obsession came from the frustration that I just WASN'T feeling better. At all. In fact, I was feeling worse. And I had more symptoms to add to the list. Every time after I ate a meal, I would have what I will dub "an episode." My body would get extremely fatigued, parts of my body would tingle or go numb, my face would flush and feel on fire, extreme nausea would set in, and I'd have to get up and pee a lot. My doctor doesn't know what the hell that is. (Could it be a gluten withdrawal? Another food allergy?) Let me tell you what, though. Ask the internet, and they will give you 30 different responses. My friends on Facebook have been awesome and very supportive and I'm glad they are all trying to help me. At this point it's like a trial and error sort of thing to figure out what is going on. My therapist does some great body talk with me and found that my triple-burner meridian was out of balance and that my adrenal glands were under extreme stress. Sounds about right to me. She gave me some exercises to do but also gave me a lot of encouragement that my body was in a state of healing. That I needed to trust that what was happening inside of me was working and that if I needed additional information about how to heal, my body would clue me in. I soaked in the healing energy that the therapy session provided and felt a new sense of hope.

Already I have seen little glimmers of sunshine peeking through. The regular diarrhea I was having has stopped. I no longer have intense cravings for bread and sugar. I seem to be able to focus more, for longer periods of time. I get sleepy around 10pm. I am not bloated after every meal. I have a long way to go on this journey but I see a future which doesn't include me being miserable all the time, and that is good enough for me to get up in the morning and try again.