Today

We needed food desperately but she wouldn't put her shoes on to go to the store and I didn't have the energy to fight her. I laid on the floor, nauseous from either the bite I took of gluten-free english muffin or the strawberry banana smoothie I made.

All day she kept pulling out new toys and making new messes. As I tried to adjust the flow of air coming out of the swamp cooler (open this window, close that one, cuss at the heat under my breath) she made it very clear that she had a list of demands I was not meeting. "I'm thiiiirsty. I hunnngry." Not wanting to turn my oven or stove on to cook something (I need a microwave), I rummaged through the cabinets to find something to feed her. We eventually made our way to our local favorite raw food place to get some ginger lemonade, a vegan wrap, and some grapes. To my delight, she asked to use the bathroom three times in the twenty minutes we were there.

A plumber was downstairs fixing something so my water got turned off without my knowing and I had just pooped. Did I mention that my kid is extra sensitive to smells due to her submucous cleft palate? "Ewwww Mommy what dat smell like?"

All day I had to limp because my right knee had decided to not work. Shooting pains through my right arm occasionally joined my knee pain. Stomach cramping had me moaning in pain in the library too.

She did great with peeing all day. No accidents. But she still doesn't know there's poop until it's coming out of her. And onto my foot and my favorite pair of sandals. After her bath I read her three books and put her to bed. She yelled after I shut the door and wouldn't go to sleep until I stayed and rubbed her back. She finally fell asleep around 9:15. The house was a mess. It called for me to come and clean it and finish those dishes I started. My digestive system called out for me to go to bed so it could get some healing time in. We live in a small duplex. I need space and time to myself and this short time is all that I get. And here I am blogging.

P.S. I just killed the nastiest, biggest spider that was crawling on my arm.

Gluten Free, Dairy Free: What I Miss Eating

Lately I've been mourning all the foods I can no longer eat. For me, it's not necessarily the flavor that I really miss, but the social experience of eating whatever food it is.

I miss:

• Pizza benders from Italian Village (a family tradition)
• Pizza in general (though I had some killer pizza last week in Berkeley here.)
• Sandwiches from Village Baker.
• Sandwiches from Toasters.
• Being able to get french toast, waffles, or pancakes when going out for breakfast/brunch.
• Robb's killer homemade french toast. Hopefully we can find some GF bread so he can make it for me.
• My sister's homemade banana bread. Especially when she brings it over freshly baked.
• Donuts. Especially from Banbury Cross. Especially when my dad makes a random trip and brings some home on the weekend.
• Ice Cream. I had some coconut milk ice cream but it just wasn't the same. 
• In general, being able to eat anything at a restaurant. These days I'm limited to a couple items on the menu, and even then I'm not always 100% sure that the sauces don't contain gluten, or that the preparers did all they could to avoid cross contamination. 

It's surprising the things I don't miss as much as others. I thought I'd really miss regular bread, and sometimes I do, but usually it's because I want a sandwich. I thought I'd miss milk a ton but I've adjusted to my almond milk and like the flavor. One perk of going gluten free is that the food that is made to replace regular items like muffins (unlike bread) is soooo good because recipes are tried and retried to get the flavor just right. So muffins, cake, cookies, and some other sweets taste great to me. There are some really good GF breakfast cereals that I enjoy more than regular ones.

Looking pregnant but nope, I just ate wheat or dairy

Other things I don't miss:

• Never knowing when I'd be stuck sick in a bathroom- at a restaurant, at a store, with my toddler.
• Feeling bloated (and looking pregnant) and sick after every meal.
• The ten pounds I said goodbye to.
• The unhealthy eating habits I was making. (Much easier to avoid fast food now)
• How tired I always was.
• How moody I always was. (still have my moments. ;)

So I try to count my blessings and appreciate the good when I'm crying over not being able to eat something I really want to. It really is a lifestyle change, and I'm still in the learning phase. I'm looking forward to a future that includes me being more prepared, more knowledgable, and more in control of the food I eat.

Teaching Kids To Eat Healthy

  One day Esper wanted to have a picnic with her toy food so she hauled it all out to the living room and threw the food on the blanket. Oh, good, I thought. An opportunity for an object lesson. (Though really how many object lessons stick when you're two years old?) I separated out all the bread products in the group and explained to Esper that these foods make Mommy sick. (Jury's out on if they will some day make her sick, but so far so good.) What's left is a glorious mix of colors. I told her that our food needs to be colorful. Variety is good for our bodies, but of course the color our stomachs love the most is GREEN.

Speaking of green food, I went and bought kale for the first time to make a yummy green smoothie. I put in a handful of kale, cold water, crushed ice, pineapple, a banana, strawberries, and almond milk. Esper had to scoot her chair over to the counter to help me. I think this is key to getting a child to try new foods. Let them see what goes into making it. While the smoothie was still in the blender I got out a straw to taste it and of course she had to mimic me. She was hesitant because of the green color but decided to try it. She loved it! I poured her a cup and she gulped it down. I got my kid to eat kale. That's what I call success!